I’d be convinced that they didn’t give me a pretzel crust pizza were it not for how pretzel-y this pizza smells. Despite the pizza sauce being the same stuff you’d get in a Lunchables pizza box. The crust wasn’t burnt to shit, the pizza itself isn’t mostly comprised of salt and oil, and the pizza sauce admittedly does improve the overall product.
#PRETZEL CRUST PIZZA SERIAL#
Granted that is not a high bar, like complimenting which proctologist uses the most fragrant lubricant, or how the serial killer down the street murders puppies more humanely than the last serial killer. So this is the part where I say that this is the best pizza that Little Caesars has ever put out. Here’s what the Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Pizza looks like in 2021. But that was seven years ago.Įvidently in that seven years someone at Little Caesars glanced at a cookbook and realized that pizza is supposed to look edible. The kind of pizza that warrants immediate eviction. The kind of pizza that only the bloated and pudding-stuffed corpses who call themselves YouTube mukbangers could enjoy. The kind of pizza you’d put out at night if you’re dealing with a cat problem. The kind of pizza the UN would sanction a country for feeding to its prisoners of war. I had to take a second glance at how the pretzel crust pizza looked in 2014. They’re now offering it with a pizza sauce base. Back in my earlier review I concluded that the Pretzel Crust Pizza was a decent idea but one that was ruined by the use of nacho cheese sauce instead of marinara and that if Little Caesars were to offer a version with pizza sauce, that I would be willing to give it a second try. And that’s not just because of the crippling diarrhea and stomach cramps.
So people might be wondering why The Shameless Consumer is doing yet another review of Little Caesars, especially for a pizza that I sort of reviewed already and wanted to put behind me as soon as possible. I also sold the rat carcasses as foodstuff back to Little Caesars who consider it to be recycling, so I’m profiting off of this as well.
#PRETZEL CRUST PIZZA FREE#
Who knew Little Caesars had so many fans with access to literate friends who could write angry emails on their behalf? By the way, finding my address and sending me free Little Caesars pizza isn’t a punishment as not only has it given me fodder to kill the rats in my basement with the rest getting stuffed into in my neighbor’s mailbox, but I’m now considered a war criminal by PETA. It sits in a pit with the Extra Most Bestest Thin Crust Pepperoni review and the Jack Daniels ribs review as two write-ups that put me on more Al Qaeda hitlists than if I had drawn a picture of Mohammad eating Little Caesars. Nearly seven years ago I reviewed the Little Caesars Soft Crust Pretzel Crust Pizza and it has since become one of the Shameless Consumer’s more controversial reviews.
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